Stranger Advice: John

 Posted on May 23, 2019      by admin
 0

This one is near and dear to the heart for me due to covering two of the things I love most in life: my wife and photography. Johns advice really tied into something I’ve been struggling with since I the day I got married. Give it a listen and stick around for the bonus shot of him that is a lot of fun.

Here is a transcript of the dialogue for those of you that may not be able to listen to it:

Hey y’all. This is John, a Cortez, FL commercial fisherman that I happened up on May 18th, 2019.
“Is this thing stable,” I asked as he walked past me on the rickety boardwalk I’d ventured out onto.
“Hell no!”
That was the response I got from him as he walked past with what appeared to be absolute confidence in its structural integrity.
I had been out wondering around the deserted looking docks of the historic fishing village, fishing for photos, and cautiously moved on.
It wasn’t long after that before I saw John back out doing something or another on the boat he had walked to, so I took the opportunity to strike up a conversation with him.
While talking with him I mentioned that my wife and I were down that way on vacation.
“Where’s your wife?” John asked.
“I don’t know she’s ‘round here somewhere” I said.
“God bless her! She’s gotta put up with your ass!”
The struggle certainly is real for her. I know it. He knows it. And she certainly knows it.
It was fascinating to me that he randomly picked up on something that has been a source of concern to me since I married her:
Me putting photography – and my profession – ahead of my marriage. I expressed my concern regarding this back in the first Stranger Advice feature that I shot while on our honeymoon.
That was three years ago now. Not much has changed regarding my sometimes uncontrollable desire to create,
aside from me having since set my sites on becoming a nurse in addition to being a commercial photographer.
Commercial photography sounds like a fun way to make a living to a lot of people.
And it certainly can be.
But it will take – everything – from you if you’ll let it. Putting photography – or my work- first -as I had been for most of my adult life concerned me. That’s never a good recipe for a healthy marriage – no matter what profession your in.
So, I found it amusing when John commented about her having to put up with my ass. Because, I have been actively putting myself in a real uncomfortable position for more than a year now through going back to school. Which has meant having to somewhat let go of something that was previously my whole life, and all I wanted to do: photography.
I’m not complaining. Julia never has once asked me to do any of this. I’m doing it because I want to. So I won’t feel like I have to tune out the world – and her – when work comes in the welcome, but also exhausting, waves that can totally consume you as a freelancer.
I share all this because it fits in perfectly with how John quickly answered when I asked him what single piece of advice he’d want all of you to know about life would be:
“Love is better than money.”
He said that without a seconds hesitation and reminded me of it a few times thereafter due to me being down there with him and not with my wife.
I was explaining to him that this project – Stranger Advice – isn’t about money to me at all.
…and that doing this type of work is about my love for doing it. That I don’t make money off it.
When. Right about that time, my phone rang. It was Julia wanting to know where I was. I told her how to find us, and hung up.
Once she got to the sketchy boardwalk leading out to the boat she called out to me:
“Keith, this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done!”
So, needless to say, I was dealing with a tough crowd regarding my photography that evening.
That’s okay though, because I still got to meet John here, Captain of The Miss. Sandy, a commercial fishing boat owned by the AP Bell Fishing Company there in Cortez.
I asked him how long he’d been a fisherman and he said,
I’ve been digging fish out of creeks ever since I can remember, so I’ve been one since I was born as far as I’m concerned. He told me he’d never had a job and had never done anything but that.
A few minutes after that I spotted a dolphin surface within fifteen feet or so of his docked boat – which gave me a taste of why fisherman like him love what they do.
My wife and I then walked back across that rickety boardwalk, but not without her reminding me – again – that she didn’t approve of the lengths I sometimes will go to in order to get photos like this one of John.
But she risked that same boardwalk herself – twice – in order to be with me. By doing so, she reminded me that love IS better than most everything in life, not just money, and that we will put our own well being in jeopardy at times for our loved ones.
Thank you for reminding me of who I should strive to be not just as a husband, but as a human being, John.
And Julia, thank you for being more worthy of my love – than anything. Even photography.

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